Random Saturday Thoughts

I have been a bad blogger - need to get my head back in the game I guess! Here are some random thoughts I'm having this Saturday morning:

1. Thankful for a three day weekend! Working in health care I don't get too many of these...glad I worked Memorial Day so I can enjoy this one.

2. Talked to my mom this morning - she had just finished taking a "fast walk" with Chula. I am SO THANKFUL that the Lord has brought healing and that she is back to her old self. She was so strong through the entire year long ordeal. I'm sure she'll be hitting some estate sales later today! :) Love you, Mom.

3. We had our supper club last night - I love it and the friends we have through it. And I LOVE getting to see baby James and baby Caroline - they are both getting cuter and cuter by the day.

4. 3 Day Challenge. Matt and I are going to attempt to wake up early (or rather Matt is going to attempt to go to bed earlier and wake up with me) and watch NO TV this week on Tues, Wed, and Thursday. It was his idea! I love that he is trying somewhat to adjust his sleep schedule to be more "normal" even though it is so very hard for him. We'll see how it goes - maybe announcing this publicly on the blog will help us stick to it???

5. Think I'm going to go ahead and buy the crib mattress today. That way when the bedding is ready (hopefully soon!) I can just put it all together - very exciting!

6. Need to give Harry a bath this weekend.

7. Trying to figure out what I am going to do about work after the baby comes. I know it will be really hard to leave my daughter even a couple days a week. But at the same time, I am struggling with leaving my TBI patients completely - I love them, I love my co-workers, I love that I get to do this for my "work." I feel like I would be so stupid to walk away from this set up completely. I'm hoping I will be able to work something out...

8. My dad is playing 3 tennis matches today. In August Houston weather. He is crazy, and technically in MUCH better shape than my pregnant butt theses days. Be careful in the heat dad!

9. Resting in Psalm 34:5 right now: "Those who look to Him are radiant." Though I know pregnancy is a beautiful thing, I must admit that it is doing a doozy on my self-image. I feel enormous, I have new varicose veins showing up in my legs, and my skin is giving me flashbacks of 10th grade - which was NOT pretty. It was enough to cause a pitiful, tearful breakdown the other night. Now I am praying for help to focus on inner beauty and strength and that of what He is growing inside me, rather than my "external vanity." I am a work in progress...

10. Longhorn football starts tonight! Though I am not a huge football fan - I do love my team and will have my HORNS UP!

11. This week on itunes I purchased Rihanna "Disturbia" and Jordin Sparks "one step at a time." Don't judge me - you know they are catchy tunes. I did also purchase something a little less shameful...John Mayer's version of "Free Fallin." Have you heard it? Oh my goodness it is AWESOME!

It's a GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Making it through work on Monday until our 3:00 appointment was SO hard. I had to restrain myself from blurting out to every patient that today was the big day (not that they would have even remembered - memory functioning generally not so hot in the brain injured person). But the hour finally drew near and Matt met me outside and we raced to the office. The sonographer called us back and she was so calm - like she did this every day or something. :) First she looked at the brain, the heart, took measurements of the femur...etc. Said everything looked good. It was hard to make out what we were seeing - but the shape of the face and stomach were clear. At one point I looked at Matt and smiled and said "it's a boy..." - i just had this (wrong) feeling come over me. So the sonographer said..."well, are you ready to find out?" and scanned the little wand down to the appropriate area. "Nothing boy about this one" was the next thing she said...!

We were both a little surprised (guess subconsciously we thought it would be a boy) but very happy and excited. We are so thankful that everything seems healthy and so excited to now be referring to my stomach as she, not it. Now it feels so REAL - like suddenly we realized, oh my gosh we're having a BABY!


This is a picture of the cupcakes we got to celebrate with some friends that night. So much fun! I think Matt is going to be the best dad for a little girl ever (tied with my dad, of course).

The waiting is the hardest part...

Our 18 week sonogram is only 55 hours from now. Matt and I feel like besides our wedding and the actual birth of the baby, this is the most anticipation we've ever felt...will it be a BOY or GIRL? I am so ready to know. At first just so I could start making headway with the nursery and other things that needed to get done. But more and more I just want to have a gender to attach to this bump growing inside me. I can't wait to no longer refer to it as "it" or "he/she." To be able to decide on a name and start talking to him/her, praying by name for him/her, etc. etc. For an identity to begin, if you will. I'm sure that all parents to be have these feelings, but if I let myself think about it too long I literally start to get squirmy and giddy with excitement. (Also how I felt in the days leading up to my wedding).

We have NO hunch one way or the other. I've been telling myself boy since the beginning, since that's what the odds are in Matt's family. We both have days where we are just sure it is a boy, and other days where we think more girl. So basically, we have no idea (duh...no one really does). I really will be thrilled either way, and I trust that God knows what He's doing in giving us whoever He gives us!

This is also a big sonogram in that it will be the first time we've "seen" the baby since it was a dot on the screen. To not only imagine but actually see his/her limbs and toes and eyes and face and movement...I am dying to get a glimpse. It's kind of like we'll be meeting him/her for the very first time!

Since we didn't do the Downs testing, this will also be the first time Dr. Harris has a chance to make sure everything is healthy and ok. The alternative, of course, is quite scary, especially for my worst-case scenario mind. (I really am working on this - I do NOT want to be this way my whole life!) I am resting in the promise that the Lord is good and that the baby He has for us is the exact perfect little one that we need. That what He gives us is in life is ultimately for our deeper intimacy with and enjoyment of Him, where true satisfaction is found.

For now, off to exercise and clean the house...need to keep myself busy so I don't burst with excitement...feels like we've been waiting FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!