Our 18 week sonogram is only 55 hours from now. Matt and I feel like besides our wedding and the actual birth of the baby, this is the most anticipation we've ever felt...will it be a BOY or GIRL? I am so ready to know. At first just so I could start making headway with the nursery and other things that needed to get done. But more and more I just want to have a gender to attach to this bump growing inside me. I can't wait to no longer refer to it as "it" or "he/she." To be able to decide on a name and start talking to him/her, praying by name for him/her, etc. etc. For an identity to begin, if you will. I'm sure that all parents to be have these feelings, but if I let myself think about it too long I literally start to get squirmy and giddy with excitement. (Also how I felt in the days leading up to my wedding).
We have NO hunch one way or the other. I've been telling myself boy since the beginning, since that's what the odds are in Matt's family. We both have days where we are just sure it is a boy, and other days where we think more girl. So basically, we have no idea (duh...no one really does). I really will be thrilled either way, and I trust that God knows what He's doing in giving us whoever He gives us!
This is also a big sonogram in that it will be the first time we've "seen" the baby since it was a dot on the screen. To not only imagine but actually see his/her limbs and toes and eyes and face and movement...I am dying to get a glimpse. It's kind of like we'll be meeting him/her for the very first time!
Since we didn't do the Downs testing, this will also be the first time Dr. Harris has a chance to make sure everything is healthy and ok. The alternative, of course, is quite scary, especially for my worst-case scenario mind. (I really am working on this - I do NOT want to be this way my whole life!) I am resting in the promise that the Lord is good and that the baby He has for us is the exact perfect little one that we need. That what He gives us is in life is ultimately for our deeper intimacy with and enjoyment of Him, where true satisfaction is found.
For now, off to exercise and clean the house...need to keep myself busy so I don't burst with excitement...feels like we've been waiting FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!
1 comment:
Hi Erica,
I LOVE the blog...welcome to the blog world. Glad you joined in the fun!! I can't believe tomorrow is your sonogram. I'm still saying girl although you know I was wrong with Caroline so take my guess for what you will. And you're right, next to first finding out that we were pregnant and the actual birth, this first "big" sonogram was one of our most favorite memories. I'll never forget it!! I'm so excited for you and Matt. We'll see you tomorrow night (Caroline has a celebration dress already picked out :-)
Love ya,
Laura
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